Being Myself
by willowfairy
Summary: Blaise Zabini's life and loves after Hogwarts. It hasn't been easy and it'll only get worse.
1. PrologueContemplations

Okay, so I wrote one version story thing for this challenge, hated it and another idea hit me while I was in the car yesterday. Crazy muses. Anyway, here goes!

Prologue

Contemplations

Life makes one wonder why. Why does the sun rise and set? Why does the grass grow? Why does the world turn? Why do things happen the way they do? Why are hearts so confusing? And why am I always contemplating things like this? I find it enough to make one mad.

I shook my head and ran my fingers through my short, but spikey, black hair. Flicking a glance at the mirror, I was slightly startled by the brillant blue eyes looking out at me. I still wasn't sure where I had inherited them from. Glancing through family albums didn't help. Most of the pictures glared at me and turned away, their noses in the air. I hated my family as much as they hated me. Of course, they might have had reason. But my choice in love shouldn't have been one of them.

Hermione Granger. Love of my life and the only reason I am still alive and not a Death-Eater. She was also the reason Draco Malfoy is still alive and kicking. Damn him. Somehow he had managed to get us all out of a very sticky situation _and_ pulled my 'Mione under his spell. But I'm a better man and I won't kill him for it. Yet.

Still, looking back, I'm surprised we're all still alive. I know Lucius and Voldemort are still looking for us and I won't let them find her. Draco would protect her til the end of his life, he's proved that already. But I will be there when he fails. Hermione's too precious and the life growing inside her is more precious than all the money in the world. And mine.

Surprised? Yeah, I was too. Hermione knows he's mine, but tells Draco it's his. And he believes her. I clap him on the back with congratulations, but know the child will probably never know who his real father is. But I'll always be there, the cool 'Uncle' Blaise. Hermione promised me that much, that I'll always be a part of his life.

I hope he has my eyes.

Summer, three years after Graduation

I hate ministry work. I don't know why I ever took this damnable job. This damn desk. I rarely get out from behind it. Even at lunch I end up with more paperwork than I can hope to finish in a lifetime. I barely make it down to the office cafeteria long enough to grab a sandwich and eat it on the way back to my cubicle. I hate cubicles too. Nasty little things designed to supposedly increase productivity. They only succeeded in pissing me off on a normal basis. And I still couldn't get away from them. Damn Malfoy and his office. Damn his father for being so rich. And evil. I know Draco wasn't as bad, having been friends with him for years. Somehow he had managed to delay his initiation this long though. How I had yet to figure it out. His father wanted him inducted straight out of Hogwarts, but he claimed he would get higher in the Ministry's ranks if he could keep his sleeves rolled up. Complete bullshit and how he convinced his father it was true I'll never know either. But his time is running out. He'll be running for Minister of Magic in the next month. If he wins, he'll be initiated. If he loses, while, that isn't a possibility. This is another one of those 'Win or Die' situations.

I straightened out a few things on my desk and pulled my sportcoat off its hook. It may be muggle, but it looks good. Traditional robes are slowly going out of style now that muggle clothes are more fashionable. I walked out the main door and onto the muggle street. My flat was a few blocks away and I had some dry cleaning to pick up on the way home. My life had gotten incredibly boring.

I arrived home ten or so minutes later and headed for the shower, dropping my clothes on the floor as I went. It was Friday and I need a relief from the mundane. A little casual sex wouldn't hurt either. It had been awhile since I broke up with Cassie and I hadn't seen anyone since. Draco, meanwhile, had gone through four girls. I still didn't understand why they still went for him when the entire female population already knew he never committed. I shook my head and turned off the water. Stepping out, I towled off and was about to wrap a towel around my waist when I remembered I lived alone. I opened the door and stepped out, then stopped short. Meaghan, an ex, was standing near the bar, an amused look on her face. I reached behind me for a towel and she laughed.

"It's not like I haven't seen it before, Blaise." I glared at her.

"What are you doing here and how did you get in?"

"Your door was unlocked and I have a job for you." She checked her nails while she said it, and then looked up at me.

"I work enough, thanks."

"Oh, stop being bitter. My reason for dumping you was a good one."

"If I can remind you, you didn't dump me. You cheated on me and I didn't call you again. That's not dumping."

"Stop whining, you're beginning to sound like Draco and his big-headed pride."

"You should know. He was the one you were doing when I walked in." Meaghan sighed and put a hand to her head.

"Whatever, it doesn't matter. What's done is done."

"Exactly, now why are you here?"

"Well, I had plans to go out with one of my gal pals tonight, but Viktor called to say he was in town."

"You're dating Viktor Krum!?!? The guys a Neanderthal!"

"He's also famous and great in bed." I shook my head in disgust.

"That's just wrong and more information than I wanted to know."

"You're just jealous."

"OF KRUM?!?!" she laughed again. "You have got to be kidding me."

"Relax, darling. I wasn't inviting you to join us." I almost gagged. She rolled her eyes then turned serious. "I need you to do me a favor."

"Why should I?" She stepped across the room and stopped mere centimeters from me.

"Because I know what I do to you. And you know what I do to you." I didn't say anything, just looked at her. She set her palms against my chest and slowly ran them down to the edge of the towel I had around my waist. "And the evening could end very rewarding for you if you do."

"Sex won't help your case."

"You know you still want me." I couldn't lie. My body still did, but my heart was yelling to get away. "You can't deny it." I sighed heavily.

"What do you want me to do?" she smiled happily.

"I want you to meet my friend tonight at a muggle club."

"Why muggle?"

"Because it was her turn to pick our meeting spot. I already told her I couldn't meet her, but that I was sending a very sexy replacement."

"You knew I'd do this?"

"I knew I could convince you. You're not a hard person to convince, Blaise." I looked away angrily. "Don't be angry with me. Just get dressed in that blue shirt I know looks fantastic on and off you and go to this club." She slipped a piece of paper into the edge of the towel and pulled my lips to hers. I pulled away.

"We're through."

"I don't want you to hate me."

"I don't hate you. I just want you to go." She sighed and moved toward the door and opened it.

"Oh, and make sure you bring a single black rose. I told her that's how she'd recognize you. Thanks, Blaise. You're the best." She blew me an air kiss and swept out the door. I shook my head and moved toward my bedroom and stopped short. She never told me who I was meeting.


	2. Well Met

Must be done soon. Write fast! Oh, and chapter one was included with the prologue thing.

Chapter Two

Well Met

After shrugging on the blue shirt and a pair of black slacks and the coat I had worn earlier, I looked at the paper I had dropped on my dresser. It said: La Velana, 7:00 PM. I wasn't completely sure where it was, but I had a vague idea. But I was still a bit apprehensive. A blind date was never a good idea, and one set up by Meaghan was certain to be disaster. It was probably some airhead she went to school with in Beaubaxtons and a complete moron. I contemplated changing into sweatpants and standing up this mystery girl. I sighed, then headed out the door. I had a damn flower to buy.

            Ten minutes later I was standing outside the club, the black rose in my hand. The woman behind the counter had given me an odd look when I asked for it. My explanation that it was for a blind date only worried her more. I shook my head at the memory and continued to stand there looking like an idiot. Why the hell was I doing this? Meaghan had never done more for me than break my heart and lie. I was ready to leave. I turned around and bumped into a beautiful woman at least eight inches shorter than me and almost sent us both flying. She blushed.

            "I'm so sorry. I'm a complete klutz." She looked up at me, tawny brown eyes bright with laughter and embarrassment. She tucked a few strands of long, shiny brown hair behind her ear. "Um, I was wondering, have you seen a man standing out here with a black rose?" I was shocked. This was the airhead I had been expecting? When I didn't say anything she blushed again. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have bothered you. Sorry for bumping into you." She went to move past me but I finally got my voice back.

            "Wait!" She turned back to face me. "I'm the one you're supposed to meet." A childish grin on my face. She laughed and blushed again. I held out the rose. "I'm Blaise Zabini. It's a pleasure to bump into you." She laughed again and reached for the rose, then stopped short.

            "Did you say your name was Blaise Zabini?" I was confused.

            "Yes, why?" Her jaw dropped, then a flash of anger flew across her face.

            "I'm going to kill Meaghan." I was bewildered.

            "What is it?"

            "I'm Hermione, Hermione Granger." I felt my jaw drop. "I'm sorry. Meaghan didn't tell me who I was meeting, only that he was incredibly handsome and one of her exes. I'll go." She turned to leave, but I put my hand on her arm and stopped her.

            "Wait." I wasn't sure what I was doing, but I knew I didn't want her to leave. She turned, confusion clear on her face. My mind racing, I finally came up with something not completely corny. "Well, we should at least have dinner as long as we're here. I haven't been out in awhile, and I'd rather not go home to cold pizza."

            "I'm not sure, Zabini." She looked pretty apprehensive.

            "Please, call me Blaise. We're not in Hogwarts anymore." I gave her a smile and she returned it, apprehension still clear on her features. "Please, Hermione. I know of a little café around the corner that has excellent pasta. Will you join me?" I was pleading. "Please?" She stood there for a moment, then seemed to come to a decision.

            "Alright. Let's go, I'm starving." She gave me a bright smile and I almost melted. Pulling myself together I offered her my arm.

            "Great. It's only a few blocks." She took my arm and I felt shivers run up and down my spine. This was crazy, but I was going to run with it.

Three hours later.

            Dinner had been fantastic. Hermione was as smart as ever and had a sharp sense of humor. We laughed and reminisced through the entire meal. I was on my third cup of coffee and didn't want to leave.

            "So what have you really been up to since leaving Hogwarts, Blaise? Still in contact with the ferret?" I laughed. Draco still hadn't lived that name down.

            "Well, I have a wonderful job in the Ministry where I get to travel the world and meet fabulous people."

            "It sucks, doesn't it?" I nodded. "I figured life after Hogwarts would be full of fun and excitement. New experiences and new people. Never the same thing twice." She half-laughed. "I was wrong. I sit at a desk all day filling out paperwork that will probably never do anyone any good. At least Harry became an Auror, he's also playing for England's Quidditch team, and Ron is doing odd jobs for the Order. And I sit behind a desk." She sighed and looked out the window. Unsure of what I was doing, I gently placed my hand over hers on the table. She turned back to me with a small gasp.

            "Why didn't you become a teacher? You're the smartest witch to come out of Hogwarts in years." She blushed. "Hermione, you could do anything. The entire world is open to you. Go out and find it."

            "I can't." She looked down at the table, a sadness in her eyes that made my heart break.

            "Why not? You're beautiful, smart, funny, anyone would be lucky to know you and spend time around you." She shook her head.

            "I'm not any of those things. Book-smarts don't get you very far."

            "Hermione, what are you saying?" She looked up at me, tears in her eyes.

            "I'm a chicken. I've always been afraid of everything. Harry and Ron were the ones who gave me my courage. Now I'm lucky to see them once a year. There's no one around anymore. Everyone fell apart after Hogwarts." A tear was slipping slowly down her cheek and I gently brushed it away and her eyes met mine. "I'm alone in the world now."

            "I'm here." She smiled sadly and shook her head. "I'm serious. I'm here." I squeezed her hand and stood up. "Come on, we're going to break this mood."

            "I'm fine. I'm just going to go home. I'm sorry I dumped this on you." She tried to pull her hand out of mine, but I just laced my fingers through hers.

            "Nope, you're coming with me. I know just the place to go." I dropped a few galleons on the table and pulled her toward the door.

            "Blaise, what are you talking about?" I gave her a smirk.

            "Don't ask questions, just come on." I pulled her out of the café and onto the street and broke into a jog. She laughed and followed.

            I pulled us both into an alley and apparated. We were now standing on top of the Eiffel Tower. Hermione gasped.

            "It-it's beautiful!" she pulled me over to a railing. "I've never been here." I turned to her, shocked.

            "What do you mean? How could you not?"

            "I'm not sure."

            "You can apparate, right?" She turned to me with a nod.

            "It just never dawned on me. I am muggle-born, remember?"

            "Yeah, I guess that makes sense, now come one, I want to show you something else." I held out my hand and she put hers in mine after a moments hesistation. I pulled her closer and whispered in her ear. "I don't bite…hard." She laughed and we apparated again.

            "Where are we?" Hermione's voice was quiet in the dark but it still echoed.

            "Hold on a moment." I lit my wand and she gasped. 

            "Is this-?" she looked at me, eyes huge in amazement.

            "The library in Alexandria?" her jaw dropped. "What? I figured you'd like it." She stepped away from me, a bit dazed.

            "I've wanted to come here since they found it but I couldn't find time." She looked around in amazement and walked over to one of the thousands of bookcases and ran a hand reverently over the spines. She turned back to me with a huge smile on her face. "Thank you, Blaise." I smiled back.

            "You're welcome, Hermione." She stepped a bit closer and slipped her small hand in mine.

            "Come on, let's go to Venice. I heard it's absolutely beautiful at night." 

            "Sounds fantastic."

            We wandered up and down various canals and got ourselves completely lost. It was fantastic. Finally, Hermione glanced at her watch.

            "Oh my god! It's one in the morning!"

            "You can't be serious."

            "No, I am. Look." She held her watch up to me. Wow. She tightened her grip on my hand and leaned against my shoulder. "I don't want to go home."

            "Me either, but I have to meet up with Draco tomorrow." She sighed and moved away.

            "Is he still a prat?" I laughed.

            "Worse than ever." She laughed with me and I apparated us with a POP! We were back on the street in front of La Velana. "Do you live far from here?" She shook her head. 

            "Only a few blocks."

            "Would you like me to walk you home? It's late and we don't know what's out here." She nodded and smiled. We walked slowly, not talking, just enjoying each others company. Finally she stopped in front of a large apartment complex.

            "This is it. I live on the third floor."

            "Would you like me to walk you up?"

            "No, I'll be fine. And Mrs. Fenley will worry if she hears heavy steps this late." She smiled. "Thank you for the wonderful evening."

            "Don't thank me, thank Meaghan. It's her fault." We both laughed, but it ended quickly. Neither of us moved for a moment, then Hermione took a step away.

            "Well, good night." She turned and stepped up the few steps to the door. I felt lost and the uncontrollable need to do something. She opened the door and I ran up the stairs and placed my hand on her shoulder. Slowly, she turned around. I leaned down slowly and caught her lips in mine. We stood there for what seemed like forever before I pulled away. Hermione slowly opened her beautiful brown eyes and smiled softly. I moved back, face red.

            "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-" She placed a finger to my lips. Pulling a pen out of her purse, she took my hand and wrote something on it.

            "Thank you for a wonderful evening." She placed a small kiss on my cheek and stepped inside and closed the door. I stood there a moment, bewildered. Looking at my hand I smiled. There was a phone number written on it. I skipped down the steps and up the road, elation coursing through my veins. Life was finally getting better.

~*~

Sorry, I'm not very good at the fluffy stuff. Anyway, next chapter, we get to meet the Sexy!Draco Malfoy. Gotta love him. Au Revoir!


	3. Revelations

Haha, the third chappie! I'm so proud of myself!

Chapter Three

Revelations

I woke up the next morning with a groan. I had gotten home around two AM and crashed. I pulled my blanket over my head but it got whipped away. I was awake in an instant, wand at the ready.

            Draco Malfoy was standing at the end of my bed laughing.

            "What the hell are you doing here so damn early?"

            "It's not early, it's ten am and you were over an hour late. You're lucky I found something to divert my attention this long. Now get up, I want doughnuts." He turned and left the room with a swagger. I rolled over and pulled the blanket back up. "Don't make me get a bucket of ice water." I groaned again and got up grumbling and padded into the bathroom.

Fifteen minutes later I walked out yawning. Malfoy was sitting on my tan couch flipping through one of the back issues of 'Quidditch Weekly'.

"Took you long enough." He dropped the magazine and stood with a stretch.

"Shut the hell up you bloody prat. I had a late night." Draco's eyes gleamed and I mentally kicked myself.

"Oh really now? Where is she? I know its been awhile for you." He smirked at me.

"Maybe that has something to do with the fact that _I_ have a conscious," I grumbled and picked up my leather coat. Draco laughed.

"You try to wound me but always fail, dear friend." I glared at him and opened the door with a gesture. He stepped through.

"Eunuchs first." Draco winced.

"Now that was a low blow. Congratulations, I'm glad to see you finally cut your first tooth. Your mommy must be so proud of her 'ittle boy."

"Shut up, eunuch."

"Alright, that's enough of that. You know as well as I do I'm not a damn eunuch."

"Shut up, I'm not talking to you again until I get coffee." I could almost hear his smirk behind me.

"I almost forgot. Your 'late night'. So how was she?"

Twenty Minutes Later

            "Come on, at least tell me who she was. Don't make me beg." I gave him a look and sipped my coffee. Ah, precious sweet coffee.

            "I hate to tell you Mister 'I-don't-ever-beg-because-I'm-a-damn-bloody-wealthy-prat' you've been begging for the past twenty minutes." He glared at me over his coffee cup. "Now, what did you have to tell me, begger boy?"

            "I'm not begging. Malfoy's don't beg." I snorted and sipped at my coffee again. "As for you second question," his voice dropped and his face lost all emotion. "My initiation is scheduled for October 31st in honor of the Dark Lords anniversary of return to power." I swore loudly and a few people looked over. Draco easily glared them into turning back around.

            "Draco, that's little over three months."

            "The elections in two. Father wants me to keep 'my sleeves rolled up' for a little while after. Said it'll help my image."

            "Is he getting senile in his old age or something?"  Draco shot me a venomous glare and I held my hands up in surrender. His father was Draco's sore point, always had been. Of course, when you watch your idol torture and kill innocent people its bound to affect you somehow. Draco had become the ice king. "So, what are you going to do?" he shrugged.

            "I'm not sure, but I _won't_ become a pawn in this chess game. I make my own decisions."

            "Go see Snape." Draco looked at me sharply.

            "Why?" 

            "He might be able to help you find a way out of this mess." Draco looked doubtful, but nodded after a few moments contemplation. He stood and dropped a few galleons on the table.

            "Let's go."

            "What? Where?"

            "To see Snape."

            "But-"

            "It was your bloody idea, now let's go." I heaved a sigh and stood. Draco clapped me on the back. I shrugged him off. "So, who was she?" I groaned and stepped out into the bright sunlight.

"I can't help you." Snape continued grading the papers in front of him. Draco looked dejected and a bit worried. "But I know someone who can." We both looked up. "Albus Dumbledore." Draco glared at the dark haired man, then turned and cursed.

"I am NOT talking to that batty old coot!"

"I am very sorry to hear that, Mister Malfoy." An amused voice from the door made us turn. Draco at least had the decency to look slightly abashed for a moments before his face went blank.

"I'll figure this out on my own." Draco brushed past the headmaster.

"It's to be a double initiation, isn't it, Mister Malfoy." Draco stopped and I blanched. Dumbledore continued, voice grave. "That's why you were willing to ask for help." Draco turned around, anger plain in his every movement.

"How in the _hell_ did you know that?" the blond boys voice was deathly quiet.

"I told him." Snape's voice seemed oddly loud in the silent room. Draco turned to face him, the look on his face incredulous and angry. I was pretty sure my face matched his.

"What?" Draco's voice sounded like it was coming from a million miles away.

"Severus has been spying for me for many years now. We have been able to keep Voldemort from full power all these years largely due to his sacrifices." Dumbledore's aged voice shook me to my core. This wasn't possible.

"I'm afraid it is possible, Mister Zabini." I looked up at him, not aware I had spoken aloud. "And I'm also afraid to inform you that your own initiation is scheduled for the same night." I looked over at Draco. He wouldn't meet my eyes. I stepped backward, thoughts racing.

"What could the Dark Lord want with me? I have never shown him any sort of support, how could he even know I exist?" Draco's voice was quiet.

"It's my fault."

"What?" I turned on him.

"I stupidly said something to my father about you. It was just a passing comment, I can't even remember what the hell it was, but he took it to mean something else. And he passed your name to the Dark Lord. He wants you. And if he can't have you, everyone around you will die."

"You can't be serious."

"If I wasn't serious, then why the hell would we be standing here? You know I hate asking for help. I won't become a pawn and I won't let you become one either because of something I did." He slammed his fist into the desk, denting it. 

"Mister Malfoy-"

"Shut up. I don't want to hear it. I won't become a Death Eater. I won't be a fucking pawn in a game I never wanted to play." He stormed out of the room, slamming the door against the wall with a crash. 

"Mister Zabini, there may be a way around this, but you will need more help. I will contact you later this week." I just nodded and walked slowly out of the room, trying to process what the hell had just happened. It wasn't working.

~*~

Uhoh, huh? I wonder how this one is going to end….


	4. Understanding

This is a hard chapter to write, but I'll get through it. Hoping to wrap up in 10 chaps, wish me luck!

Chapter 4

Understanding

It's amazing how much and how fast your life can change in a few hours. I had figured on working my dead end job, continuing to meet Draco randomly for coffee or a night out. Hermione was in the picture now and I was looking forward to getting to know her better.

Now I was to become a death-eater. Life as I had known it was over.

It also surprised me how shaken Draco had been over this. Sure we had known each other for years, but I didn't realize how heavily he had relied on our friendship. I was beginning to realize Draco wasn't all stone.

Now don't get me wrong or anything, I'm not gay, nor am I falling in love with Draco or anything. I'm just trying to figure out what's going on.

It's not working.

Two weeks later

Dumbledore had owled me, but nothing was working out yet. He said he needed at least another week to get a hold of a few people who might be able to help. I had a feeling Potter and Weasley would be topping that list, along with the werewolf who was our professor in third year, if he wasn't dead. I also hadn't heard from Draco since that morning in the potions office. I could only hope he was still alive and campaigning for that damn job. I almost didn't want him to get it. I knew it would end up more trouble than it was worth and it would only give the Dark Lord more power. I was also terrified about my own upcoming initiation. I didn't want to go through with it. I did not want to become a Death-Eater. But it didn't look like I had a choice. I sighed and picked up the phone, maybe Hermione might be home and we could meet for lunch.

"Blaise, what's wrong?" Hermione had just walked into the café where we had gone the first night. She moved her chair closer to mine and sat down, a look of genuine concern on her face and clear in her tawny brown eyes.

"It's nothing, don't worry about it." I tried to give her a smile but she didn't buy it.

"There is something wrong, you've been acting odd for two weeks. Talk to me."

"Please, let's just enjoy lunch." She gave me a look, but finally nodded. I guess the pitiful look on my face worked.

"Alright, but we're going for a walk after lunch." She gave me the look I had dubbed her 'McGonagall' look. I nodded and she gave me one of her heart-warming smiles. I was going to change the subject but she beat me to it. "So, how many girls have you dated since Hogwarts?"

"Alright, now talk to me." We were walking in a small park a few blocks away, enjoying the last bits of summer sun.

"Hermione-"

"Don't try it, Blaise."

"But I-" she stopped and stood in front of me, beautiful eyes meeting mine.

"I don't care what it is. Whatever you tell me can't change how I already feel about you." I could see the truth in her eyes and didn't know what to say. "I know this is happening really fast, but I feel like this is what I've been waiting for for a long time." Her eyes were full of tears, but also filled with love. A lopsided smile lit her face. "It's weird, I feel like I've known you forever and that we've finally been reunited." Her words opened a door inside of me I hadn't realized was there. And I understood now. "And I know you're hurting. Please, let me help you."

"This story isn't pretty, I don't want to burden you with it." She gave me a small smile and a quick kiss.

"You will never be a burden to me. Now come on, I'd like to sit. I get the feeling this will be a long story." She slipped her warm hand in mine and led me over to a large willow tree near the water.  We took a seat and I began.

"I met Draco years ago, back in third year. He was more of a prat then then he is now. He thought his father was the best thing since magic. Then Voldemort returned in fifth year, his world changed and he finally opened his eyes. His father became more abusive than he had ever been and Draco spent most of the summer after sixth year at my home. His father would owl constantly, commanding him to come home. Draco just ignored the letters, burned most of them without reading them. Then he received another kind of letter, more of a howler really, threatening his mother if he didn't come home. I think the only thing in this world that Draco actually loves is his mother, and I don't blame him. She was the only thing that kept him from becoming his father. He went home.

"When he came back to school, he wasn't the same. He had only spent a month at home, but it had changed him forever. He never told me what happened, but whatever it was had made up his mind. He wasn't going to become a pawn for 'a sorry attempt of a demon to become human'." Hermione gasped and I nodded sadly. "I know. He was doomed from the start. But he can act, Merlin, he can act. Everyone else saw him as the cold-hearted bastard he always showed the world. Only I saw his torment and listened to his mad plans. And they were crazy. Then the year ended and he went home. I didn't hear a word from him all summer. On the train back to school, he was silent. Later that night he showed up in the Slytherin common room and dragged me back up to your head common room.

"He was a wreck. I'm still surprised he hadn't killed himself that summer. The marks of the abuse covered his torso and back, many still raw." I shivered at the memory and Hermione put her arms around my waist and held me close, giving me the strength to continue. "But he had survived. And he had the craziest plan of all. He was going to become Minister of Magic. And not become a Death-Eater in the process. I asked him how and his explanation was as insane as he was. He would tell his father that he would be able to rise within the ministry's ranks faster if he could roll his sleeves up. That the Dark Mark would never let him become Minister. I guess it's partially true, but not very likely. He went home over the winter holidays and told him. And his father bought it."

"You mean-?" I looked down at Hermione and nodded.

"He's running for minister in the next month and if he wins, he'll be initiated October 31st. If he doesn't win, he'll be tortured until October 31st, then initiated."

"But what does that have to do with you?"

"I'm being initiated that night too." Hermione's eyes went wide and she just sat there for a few moments, seemingly unable to understand what I was saying. I sighed and went to stand up. She held on tighter, burying her face in my chest.

"I told you whatever you said wouldn't change how I feel about you."

"But, I'm going to be a Death-Eater!" I was incredulous, how could she still want to be near me? Then she looked up at me, a fierce love and determination in her eyes.

"I don't care. I love you and I won't ever let you go."

"Hermione, you could be killed."

"You think being friends with Harry couldn't have gotten me killed? Blaise, we don't chose who we fall in love with, it just happens. And then we put everything we have into being in love with that person because of how it makes us feel. And a lot of that energy is spent doing everything to stay with that person. I won't let you go."

"But-"

"No, no buts about it." I wrapped my arms around her tightly. I never wanted to let her go. And that's when I realized I would never, ever let anything hurt her. I would die first.

"I love you, Hermione." She looked up at me, a look of pure happiness on her face.

"And I love you, you evil Slytherin you." I laughed and caught her lips in mine. Time was passing and people were looking. We didn't care, we were in love. And it was perfect.

~*~

There! Not depressing!


	5. Return

Wow, I'm on a roll. A chapter a day. Which means this fic ought to be over in *counts on fingers* five days. Weird, really. Ok, here goes. And I'm beginning to realize my Blaise is really…. Dramatic. It's weird. Oh!

I DON'T OWN THESE CHARACTERS, IM JUST USING THEM…. ALL HAIL THE GENIUS OF J.K. ROWLING. 

There.

Chapter 5

Return

The election is tomorrow. Draco has yet to call me and he hasn't answered any of the *cough* thirty owls *cough* that I sent. He's avoiding me and it's starting to piss me off. When I see him I'm going to punch him. Hard. In the face. I get the feeling it will be strangely satisfying. Anyway, I'm off topic again.

I don't want him to win the election. Voldemort doesn't need another reason to try to kill him, but if he loses I get the feeling he'll want to. And it's also very hard for the Minister of Magic to disappear. Neigh impossible.

Of course, Draco is master of the impossible and incredibly insane.

I wouldn't vote for him if I had a wand pointed to my head. I won't give Voldemort more power. I couldn't even begin to tell you who he was running against, but I didn't care. I was more worried about the meetings up at Hogwarts and Hermione. Over the past month and a half we had grown closer and closer, and had even spent a few nights together. No, you can't have the details. Life would have been perfect.

Except I'm about to become a death-eater.

Running a hand through my hair, I realized it had gotten a bit shaggy and I needed it cut. Oh well, it would have to wait. I was supposed to meet Hermione for dinner tonight and if I didn't leave now I would be late. I stepped out of the shower and opened the bathroom door.

Draco Malfoy was standing in my living room, a determined look on his face.

"Get dressed, we need to talk."

"What the-" he gave me a look that killed the words in my mouth.

"We need to talk."

"I have plans. Did that cross your mind?" I was still angry at the past months silence.

"Cancel them. Believe me, this is more important." I glared at him and walked to the phone, still dripping everywhere. Dialing, it rang twice and Hermione answered, a cheerful note in her voice.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Luv, it's me. I can't make it."

"Oh, alright." She sounded really disappointed.

"I'm sorry, but Draco showed up and he needs to talk to me. I'll try to call you later. And I promise I'll make it up to you."

"It's alright, just punch him for me, alright?" I laughed, told her I would and that I loved her and hung up. 

"Happy, rat bastard?"

"Who the hell was that?" Draco was curious, never a good thing.

"My girlfriend."

"Who is she?" I ignored him and walked into my room to change. "Who is she?" I smiled to myself.

"A Gryffindor." I could hear his yelp of surprise as I shut my door. I pulled on clean black boxers, black slacks, and a black t-shirt. Draco had been wearing the same. Walking back out I grabbed my leather jacket off the back of a chair. 

"A Gryffindor? What the hell are you doing with a Gryffindor?"

"Enjoying her company." We walked out the door and down the stairs. I could feel his dirty smirk on my back.

"Enjoying her company, huh? Can I borrow her?" I spun around and punched him in the nose, but not too hard. He cursed and swung back, but missed.

"That's from her." Draco stood there for a second, then started laughing.

"You're dating Lavender!" he kept laughing.

"No, I'm dating Hermione." The blond fell silent. He turned to look at me.

"The mudblood?" my fist swung out and connected with his nose with a loud 'CRACK!'

"Say that again and I'll kill you." Draco held a hand to his heavily bleeding nose, then held them in the air.

"It wasn't meant to be an insult. I was just double-checking." He muttered a few spells, cleaning his shirt and fixing his nose, then turned and continued down the sidewalk. Still fuming, I followed. "And stop pouting. You're impossible to deal with when you're angry."

"I'm not pouting." I know, I sounded juvenile, but I was still angry.

"Liar."

"I'm not lying either." He turned around and gave me a look.

"I know you too well for you to attempt to lie to me." I grumbled. "Come on, I'm hungry."

We ended up in a small café in East London. Draco was chowing, but my appetite was gone. 

"Eat, there's nothing better to do."

"You said you needed to talk, now talk."

"This food is too good to ruin." He sipped his wine. "And the wine is too good to spoil. We'll talk after dinner." I sighed.

"And what is with everyone wanting to talk after a meal anyway? It ruins your digestion!" Draco nodded in consent, but kept eating.

"True, but I'm not talking til I'm full." I glared at him, then looked out the window. Ten minutes later he pushed his plate away. "I'm full now."

"Took long enough." He rolled his eyes and his face went blank. It still sent a shiver down my spine, even though I'd seen him do it a million times. Just the total lack of emotion was scary.

"The election is tomorrow. I can already tell you I'm going to win. But I won't let Voldemort have this power."

"But if you win, you have no choice."

"I won't become a pawn." His hand tightened on the fragile wine glass stem and it shattered in his hand. He ignored the blood that started flowing out of his clenched fist. "I'm not giving Voldemort the power to destroy the world."

"How are you going to stop him?"

"I've made my decision, but I won't tell you about it here. My father has ears."

"What about your mother?"

"I've made arrangements. She'll be removed from the Manor sometime tomorrow by someone I've learned to trust. Before the results are announced, I'll be at the Ministry Ball as scheduled. After the announcement, I'll make my speech and port key to a safe house. Follow me so far?" I nodded, still slightly confused.

"But when you disappear, Voldemort will come after me, and you know it."

"No he won't."

"Why not?" Draco reached into his pocket and pulled out a small package wrapped in brown paper. Setting it on the table, he kept his hand over it.

"This is where you make your decision. Pick up the packet and you're with me. Choose not to pick up the packet and I'll just get you to a safe house, but we probably won't see each other again for a long time."

"Draco, what the hell do you mean?"

"I can't tell you here. I can't say it out loud. Yes or no." he took his hand off the packet and stood up, taking a few steps until he was facing away from me behind my chair.

"Where are you going?"

"I have a few things I need to take care of. Everything you need to know is in the packet. And if you open it, you will be bound to follow through. And I'll know. I can't let you betray me. If you choose not to open it, destroy it. Hopefully we'll meet again, Blaise." He walked out of the restaurant. I sat there dumbstruck. What was happening? Time passed but it didn't register in my mind. Finally, I came to my decision.

Reaching over, I picked up the packet and pulled on the string.

~*~

I'd like to take a moment and thank my incredibly cool reviewers. You guys rock! Okay, I'm going to go keep writing after I post, another chap tomorrow if I can. Not sure if I'll have comp access, I never know anymore. *sighs* Oh well. *hugz to reviewers! 


	6. Insanity

Ok, I know you hate me… Feel free to continue, but I'm feeling industrious tonight, so be happy…. It'll probably be awhile after this.

Chapter 6

Insanity

This was crazy. Insane! It would never work! This was even crazier than the minister scheme! I couldn't do this! It just wasn't possible!

I can't be Draco Malfoy!

I scooped the things on the table into my pocket and walked out and behind the restaurant. With a POP! I was standing in my living room. I emptied my pockets onto the coffee table and looked over everything again.

A letter, a flask full of liquid, a chocolate frog card of Merlin and another shrunk wrapped brown package. Picking up the letter again I read through it, praying it would say something else.

* * *

Blaise,

I'm sorry, I'm sorry. But this is the only way to do this. You've had a Death Eater trail since the day after we went to see Snape. If I had gotten anywhere near you, Voldemort would have known. Of course, he is dead now. Voldemort will know soon. You CANNOT be home when he finds out. I don't know how long you have. I know you probably think I'm crazy, but believe me, this will work.

I need you to become me.

Yes, I'm serious. I've been working closely with some very powerful people and everything else has been arranged.

The hip flask is filled with a very potent Poly Juice potion that you need to drink before the ball. The clothes you will need to wear are in the other packet. The chocolate frog card is a portkey. It will be activated for ten minutes at ten tomorrow night. The results should be announced around 9:30. The speech you will deliver is written below. Immediately after delivering the final line, use the portkey. It will take you to a muggle village where a certain 'nuisance' you know is waiting for you. He will direct you to a safe house.

Again, I am sorry for forcing this on you. If there was any other way, I would have found it. Good luck, my friend.

Dm

* * *

It didn't say anything else. I cursed and headed for my room to pack a duffle. My next thought was of Hermione. I ran to the phone and dialed her number.

One, two, three, four rings. I cursed again. I hung up and dialed her cell. One, two, thr-

"Hello?" a groggy voice answered the phone.  
"Hermione, you're in danger. Go pack a bag and get to Potter. He can protect you."

"Blaise? What are you saying?"

"Please, Luv, don't ask questions. Just do this for me, alright?"

"I don't understand."

"Just pack a bag and apparate to Potter. I'm afraid this is going to spill over onto you. Just please do this for me." She fell silent for a moment, the spoke, voice confused but full of worry.

"Alright, Blaise. But you have better have a damn good explanation when I see you."

"I will, I promise. Just call my cell when you get there."

"I will."

"Be careful. If anything happens to you-"

"I'll be fine. I love you Blaise."

"I love you too. Just be careful. Call if you need anything."

"I will." She hung up and I hurried to my room and threw some clothes in my bag. Returning to the living room, I scooped the stuff off the table into my pockets. Unsure of where to go, I thought for a minute, then apparated into Meaghan's living room.

A loud crash greeted me. She apparently had gotten a new table. I rubbed my shins and looked around the dark house. A bright light blinded me.

"Blaise! What the hell are you doing here?!" Meaghan had a perfectly manicured had held to her chest.

"I need somewhere to stay for the night." She looked at me for a moment, then nodded.

"Alright. I'll make up the spare bed. Some warning would have been nice, though." She led me down the hall.

"I'm sorry, but it was urgent."

"I'm sure it was. How long and why?"

"Just the night."

"Why?"

"I can't tell you, but you have my eternal gratitude." Meaghan snorted delicately at this.

"Like that's going to do me any good." She made the bed with a flick of her wand and stepped out the door. "Is this going to be alright?" I nodded. "Alright. Good night, Blaise." She turned and left. I flicked off the light and fell into the bed, praying for sleep. Tomorrow was going to be a long, long day.

* * *

Damn sunshine. I needed sleep, but the damn sun had other plans. I rolled over and something stabbed me in the side. I sat up with a curse and pulled the offending object from between the sheets.

My cell phone.

Hermione.

Flipping it open, it registered a voice mail. I punched in my code and was relieved to hear Mione's sweet voice.

'Alright, love. I'm here at Harry's. Malfoy was waiting for me, like you asked him to. As soon as I'm done with this call, we'll go inside. I love you.' The phone beeped and I ran a hand through my hair. Malfoy had been waiting-

My brain stopped short. I hadn't asked Draco to wait. I hadn't talked to the man since yesterday and Hermione had only been mentioned on the way out the door. I cursed and fell out of bed. Jumping to my feet, I pulled some pants on and stumbled into the living room.

"Meaghan, I need Rawley." The blond jumped and spilled whatever she had been drinking.

"Blaise! What is going on?"

"I can't explain now. I need to owl Potter NOW." Something in my tone must have registered in her pretty little head because she jumped up to find the owl. I crossed the room to her desk and wrote out a short note to Potter, then another to Dumbledore. One of them was bound to know of Hermione's whereabouts. I tied the letters to the owl's leg, and tossed it out the window after quick instructions. I watched it fly off and turned around. Now I could only hope and pray that she was okay and my worries were for nothing.

Meaghan was standing behind me, eyes wide and full of worry. She handed me a cup of coffee and pointed to the couch with one word. "Explain." I sighed and sat, trying to compose my thoughts.

"The election results are revealed tonight for the Minister of Magic." Meaghan nodded.

"And what does that have to do with you?" I ignored her verbal jab and continued.

"You and I both know Draco won." Meaghan rolled her eyes.

"He's charming, handsome, good in bed, why wouldn't he win? Especially with almost the entire female population of England voting for him."

"But you don't know the bad part." I stopped, waiting for her comment.

"And what's so bad about Draco Malfoy?"

"His initiation is scheduled for October 31." Meaghan choked on her coffee.

"WHAT?!?"

"Calm down! Someone might hear you!" Meaghan coughed a bit more, then calmed down a tiny bit.

"What do you mean by initiation? You can't mean-?" she dropped off and I nodded. "Does he- Is he-?"

"It's against his will. And he won't be going. Meaghan, you have to swear NEVER to repeat this. If you do, we'll all die."

"But-but how do you know?"

"My own initiation is scheduled for the same night." I said it softly, but Meaghan jumped away at my words, her hand leapt to her mouth.

"No." It fell deathly quiet from her lips. I stood and laid a hand on her shoulder, but she pulled away, horrified.

"Meaghan, I-"

"Get away from me."

"Meaghan-"

"Get out of my house." Her voice was cold.

"This isn't-"

"I said get out!" She was getting hysterical. I grabbed her shoulders.

"This wasn't my choice!" she stopped trying to twist away and looked at me. "I don't want to be initiated and Draco has come up with another insane scheme that put me in danger last night. That's why I needed a place to stay. Meaghan, I trust you. Please, don't betray that trust." Meaghan gave me a sad half smile, then took my hand in hers and held it to her cheek.

"Blaise, you know I love you too much to ever bring you harm. Just tell me what I can do to help."

"I just need to lie low until this evening. Go to work, I have a few things to do."

"Are you sure there's nothing I can do?" I nodded. "Alright." She pulled me into a hug. "You be careful, alright? Cause if you die, I won't cry. I'll go to your funeral and spit on your grave. I won't cry." I held her tight and kissed the top of her head.

"I know you won't. You'll be too busy jumping for joy." She laughed and pulled away.

"I have to go now. Just send me an owl to let me know you're alive. I love you, Blaise and I-I'm sorry I ever hurt you." With that she picked up her purse and walked to the door. She gave me a last look and was gone. I sat on the couch and worried.

* * *

Just to let ya know, it was supposed to be a lot shorter, but ya got lucky. I'll try to crank the rest of the stuff I have written out tonight… Hope ya like it! And if ya do, review!

K


	7. The Plan

Hey... maybe two chapters tonight will happen…. ponders, then starts typing

Chapter 7

The Plan

I split the day between worrying about Hermione and whether or not I would make it through the night. I wore a track into Meaghan's crème carpet from the window to the kitchen. She wouldn't be very happy with me when she got home. Not that I would be here. I wouldn't put her in that kind of danger again. It wasn't fair to either of us. I just wished Dumbledore would-

A pecking at the window stopped my thoughts. I hurried over and slid it up. The white owl swooped in gracefully and landed on the back of a chair. It stuck its leg out and I removed the letter.

It was from Potter saying he didn't know where Hermione was and that he hadn't heard from her in about two weeks. He also wanted to know why I wanted to know where she was. I scribbled a quick reply and wrote another letter to Dumbledore. He _had_ to know where Mione was. I sent the owl of with a treat and the order to hurry. It gave me a reproachful look and took off into the weakening sunlight. I glanced at the clock and swore. It was 5:30. The dinner began in an hour. I wasn't sure how long the poly juice would last, but betting on Draco's proficiency with potions and Snape's probable guidance, it should be strong enough to last about 3 hours. But just to be safe, I was going to be late.

Heading for the bathroom, I grabbed the little brown parcel. I showered carefully, not knowing how long I would have to wait for the next one. After getting out, I finite'd the charm on the package and it resumed normal size. Inside was the most magnificent set of wizarding robes I had ever seen.

They were a deep silver that would perfectly math Draco's eyes, and made of the softest material I had ever touched. I had no clue what it was, but I liked it and vowed to get some pants in the stuff.

The only problem with them was that the pants were a bit short, as were the sleeves. It was also a bit tight across the shoulders. Shoes didn't fit either, but those would be easy to pull on after. Looking in the mirror, I quickly decided this shade of silver was definitely NOT my color. It clashed horribly with my dark hair. Glancing at the clock I heaved a sigh. It was almost 6:30. I walked into the spare bedroom and threw my things in my duffle bag and shrunk it to fit in my pocket unobtrusively. Then I stood in the middle of the room trying to memorize Draco's speech. An owl broke me out of my reverie. I let it in and gave it some bread crusts. The letter it carried was from Dumbledore.

Mr. Zabini

I regret to inform you that Miss Granger is not in residence here at Hogwarts. I was unaware she would be arriving last night. I will keep my eyes open and I hope she turns up.

I am also deeply sorry that Mr. Malfoy and I were unable to inform you of our plans before last night. I hope you have spent enough time around Mr. Malfoy to carry this out successfully. I wish you the best of luck.

Albus Dumbledore

I pulled my duffle out of my pocket, then resized it. Tearing through it, I found my cell phone and flipped it open. Cursing through the set up, I dialed Hermione's number. It went straight to voicemail where I left a message and hung up. I dropped the phone in my pocket and pushed my palms into my eyes, then pinched the bridge of my nose to try to relieve the tension settling there. The clock struck seven.

Five minutes until I had to become Draco Malfoy. I double checked the portkey in my left pocket. I had pinned it to the inside. I wasn't taking any chances. I pulled the vial of polyjuice out of the other pocket and re-shrunk my duffle. The clock ticked over to 7:05 and I downed the potion.

NASTY!

It slid down my throat and I felt my insides twitch and I ran to the bathroom. After rinsing my mouth out I looked in the mirror.

Wow. The suit looked fantastic. I practiced 'stoning' my expression and was surprised at how hard it was. That would definitely be the hardest part, but I knew I could do it. I pulled Draco's elegant hair back and tied it with a small, gray ribbon. This was crazy. Suicide, really.

Straightening my jacket, I walked back to the kitchen where I scribbled a quick note to Meaghan and left the apartment. I met her on the stairs coming up.

"Draco! What are you doing here? Isn't the results ball tonight?"

"Yes, it is. I was just visiting Blaise but I need to hurry. I'm already late." I went to pass her, but she coyly backed me up to the wall.

"Well, it wouldn't hurt to be a few more minutes late, will it?" She rubbed the back of my neck and started to lean in for a kiss. I grabbed her hand and moved it, then stepped away from her.

"I need to go. Blaise already left. Goodbye, Meaghan. Best of luck." I pushed past her and hurried down the stairs. I half smiled to myself. She had been pretty shocked by my- Draco's refusal. I smiled to myself. Perhaps tonight would be a bit more interesting than I had previously believed.

I apparated to the ball and was immediately surrounded by beautiful women as soon as I stepped through the door.

Not that I was complaining, mind you, but most of them seemed to know Draco's turn-on spots quite well and that it was a bit uncomfortable. Their forwardness made me miss Hermione's gentleness even more.

When Lucius spotted me, I almost ran. I mean, I would have had there been somewhere to go. Which there wasn't. A great misfortune on my part.

"Good evening, Draco." He gave me a look and I nodded in respect.

"Good evening, Father." Wow… this was weird.

"You were very late this evening."

"I had a few ... things… to take care of." I tried to be nonchalant and to keep my face blank but it was proving to be harder than Draco made it look.

"I see." He gave me another indecipherable look before continuing. "I trust you have a suitable speech prepared?" I nodded gracefully. "Good. It would not bode well for you to embarrass me, Draco. It could prove to be quite… unpleasant for you."

"Nothing would make me want to embarrass the Malfoy name, L-Father." I cursed inwardly. Lucius merely raised his eyebrow.

"The Dark Lord is pleased with your success, Draco. Don't disappoint him." With that he turned to speak with some wealthy someone-or-other. I carefully schooled my features and pulled myself together mentally. Glancing at my watch and heaving a sigh internally, I turned to a conversation behind me. Only an hour til showtime.

When (soon to be ex) Minister of Magic, Cornelius Fudge stepped up to the microphone, the hall instantly fell silent. He blathered on about for twenty minutes about how it was an honor to have served the wizarding community for so long and how incredibly sad he was to be retiring (definitely forced, the man was deliriously power hungry). Finally, he got around to the little envelope in his meaty hand. He then took another five minutes to give 'whoever the next minister would be' some advice.

"And the next Minister of Magic will be-!"

You actually expected me to tell you this now? Laughs Nope… not quite. Next chapter! (Reviews might speed up the process hint hint)

K


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